you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize