thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
