i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
