Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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