So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
