5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize