Me. At least after what I've been through.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wear drunk well.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
