Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
