drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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