Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
