2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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