the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dignity is for republicans.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
