i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
