remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize