I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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