Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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