He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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