Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
