sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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