This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
