I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
