I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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