he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just want to make out with him forever
I just forgot I was standing up.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
