It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
