somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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