tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Swine flu is the new snow day.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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