are you still at the devil's house?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
