Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
