yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
