but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
