How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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