Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
