I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
