Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
