Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
