i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
