the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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