Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
