Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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