Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
