did you get engaged???
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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