So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
