your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
