My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
