you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
