I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
