im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
