you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Come see our sink grown plant.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Couch. On fire.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize