wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
