i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize