hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
