well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
