white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
