Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
