i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
two words: eviction party
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
