he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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