i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
