i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
