I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize